What is going on???!!!

Hi Sweets!!!

It's nice to hear from you again.... Well, as we say in South Africa...half an egg is better than an empty shell...LOL!!!

You just become inspired and make your own money and lots of it, ya hear me?!!!

And next time you feel a little out of sorts, don't go into hiding. That's what friends are for and that is what we are here for...

GMP is our home and you should be able to feel free to vent if you want to!!! That's why you have a BLOG!!!

Just hang in there... The nice thing when one hits rock bottom, is that the only way out is the way back up...and we are all here to throw you some ropes ok?

love, a BIG HUG and rainbows

Raka

Lol, yeah half an egg is any day better than an empty shell.

Missed speaking to u on the messenger's. & Yeah I finally got the Skype working, so u can add me there too.

I have been kinda desperate to work somewhere, or do something myself (or both together) & make my own money since Jan this year, just to show my Dad & Mom that I can survive without them also, was even ready to go to US for a job in Dec/Jan, u might even have seen in facebook, that I quit the Job in Jan. Anyway I am still here because 1. Dad & Mom, 2. I don't know what I am capable of doing if I work for someone else. But about the doing somthing myself part, I am working on it from 1 year, & some or the other problem or obstacle comes in & it is stoping me, well I am not quitting because of a few problems, just keeping low & biding for my time. Well as u said I am more inspired now, this month sounds promising & I might just get the breakthrough I have been w8ing for. Wish me best of luck for that.

Why do I have the feeling that u put the people-pleaser define comment in facebook for me? (Not that I am complaining, just my intution which says it might be u, along with couple of other words put there like un-confident, etc, lol).

The hiding part I do well, u know I am usually a loner even in a crowd of friends & relatives. I try to be as social as possible (in both O/W & R/W), but there are times when I want ...... Solitude (for want of a better word, that word might be wrong in my context), where I want to stay silent & wallow myself & then kick out all the negativity & come up a better person. But I promise to be more vocal in the future, & vent out stuff.

But ost times I shut up because:

1. I don't have the right words to explain & they cause more misunderstandings & problems then when I don't open my big mouth.

2. I am too bloody sensitive for my own good many times. If & When I do say stuff, & if I dont get a reply or if I get a reply which sounds bad, or judging me, or like one which puts me down, then I go all emotional & angry or depressed, so I tend to shut up & wallow inside me than say it out & be ............ (Can't find the proper word).

The blog yes, I have to update it here, I have an external blog too, which I will try to link to the site here, so I don't have to post in both the places. Too much stuff there also, will give a link later & u can see it.

Yep GMP is like a Home, yet I am too afraid to call it one, after losing so many Home's, I prefer to just feel instead of think or say it as one. (Too supersitious I know)

Yeah how come members have been deleted here? like Nicole, Danny & a few others?? & Prakaash wanted to have a word with u, he has been getting a dream or vision that he is talking to u, or something like that, he didn't tell me properly, he asked me when u will be on, so that he can speak to u . So tell me when u will be on & I will tell that idiot to be on around than time too, so u both can speak.

Hoping to catch u soon, on yahoo, msn or skype.

Take care, bye.

Dearest Vishwas...

Missed speaking to u on the messenger's. & Yeah I finally got the Skype working, so u can add me there too.

Okiedokie, will do so

I have been kinda desperate to work somewhere, or do something myself (or both together) & make my own money since Jan this year, just to show my Dad & Mom that I can survive without them also, was even ready to go to US for a job in Dec/Jan, u might even have seen in facebook, that I quit the Job in Jan. Anyway I am still here because 1. Dad & Mom, 2. I don't know what I am capable of doing if I work for someone else. But about the doing somthing myself part, I am working on it from 1 year, & some or the other problem or obstacle comes in & it is stoping me, well I am not quitting because of a few problems, just keeping low & biding for my time. Well as u said I am more inspired now, this month sounds promising & I might just get the breakthrough I have been w8ing for. Wish me best of luck for that.

I saw a movie last night...and one of the quotes in it was this:

"Chance favours a prepared mind..." (unfortunately the guy that said this was playing the part of a criminal, LOL..... but it nevertheless is a saying that rings very true to me...) So you just hang in there and be mentally prepared when opportunity knocks on your door ok? And if it doesn't, then MAKE your own opportunities. I had to do that all my life...heh!!!

Why do I have the feeling that u put the people-pleaser define comment in facebook for me? (Not that I am complaining, just my intution which says it might be u, along with couple of other words put there like un-confident, etc, lol).

Nope that was not me.... Your'e going to have to hunt for someone else....hehe...

The hiding part I do well, u know I am usually a loner even in a crowd of friends & relatives. I try to be as social as possible (in both O/W & R/W), but there are times when I want ...... Solitude (for want of a better word, that word might be wrong in my context), where I want to stay silent & wallow myself & then kick out all the negativity & come up a better person. But I promise to be more vocal in the future, & vent out stuff.

But most times I shut up because:

1. I don't have the right words to explain & they cause more misunderstandings & problems then when I don't open my big mouth.

I find that if you say what you TRULY feel, it will be the right words. If others don't understand it, it will be because of THEIR perceptions and frame references...not because of the meaning you attach to the words...and you cannot be held responsible for the mis interpretations of others...so don't fret about it...

2. I am too bloody sensitive for my own good many times. If & When I do say stuff, & if I dont get a reply or if I get a reply which sounds bad, or judging me, or like one which puts me down, then I go all emotional & angry or depressed, so I tend to shut up & wallow inside me than say it out & be ............ (Can't find the proper word).

We are all sensitive when the light of critique lands on us...but hey...if you keep in mind that we are all HUMAN and we ALL make mistakes, then you can view critique in a more positive light. Sometimes we don't see the forest because of the trees, and we NEED someone to fly over and tell us exactly how deep we are into the problem and where is the best trail to get out again.... This is where external problems are concerned....

As for you as a person experiencing someone judging/criticizing you.... only YOU know yourself completely...therefore only YOU can be a truly objective judge of your own actions and character, and everyone is always an "expert" when the victim is someone else...so I say BAH to them...LOL. The catch here is just...will you be honest enough with yourself to come clean and face who you really are and be comfortable with yourself...and/or be prepared to make the necessary changes so that you can BECOME comfortable with who you are? I had to do that, and since then, I have no sleepless nights....heh....

The blog yes, I have to update it here, I have an external blog too, which I will try to link to the site here, so I don't have to post in both the places. Too much stuff there also, will give a link later & u can see it.

Good idea, looking forward to it!

Yep GMP is like a Home, yet I am too afraid to call it one, after losing so many Home's, I prefer to just feel instead of think or say it as one. (Too supersitious I know)

No comment...

Yeah how come members have been deleted here? like Nicole, Danny & a few others??

Nicole has not been on for ages...but she is active at the "other place", so I guess she would rather be there than here... Just did some house cleaning. Danny asked to be deleted since, as he put it "It was time for him to move on".

& Prakaash wanted to have a word with u, he has been getting a dream or vision that he is talking to u, or something like that, he didn't tell me properly, he asked me when u will be on, so that he can speak to u . So tell me when u will be on & I will tell that idiot to be on around than time too, so u both can speak.

Why don't you ask him to send me an e-mail? You have my e-mail right? That way I can read the whole thing and come to a conclusion...

Hoping to catch u soon, on yahoo, msn or skype.

You probably will....sooner or later....LOL!!!

Take care, bye.

Will do so...love and rainbows to you!

Raka