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 Why marriage doesn't work

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EarlofLeicester

EarlofLeicester


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Number of posts : 344
Age : 64
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Registration date : 2007-05-27

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PostSubject: Why marriage doesn't work   Why marriage doesn't work Icon_minitimeSun May 27, 2007 12:57 pm

It's supposed to.. You fall in love and pledge life together forever and then... years later it's miserable. An observation I have made in my marriage and that is shared by other guys I know is that the marriage gets rockier when the guy says no too often. Like when my now ex asked me when we were married do I want to hang out with her, her girlfriend and her friend's husband. Now, me and the friend's husband don't know each other and had nothing in common. So when that kind of situation came up a second time, i said no I wasn't interested. Those kind of situations, assertions of will, led to the downfall of my marriage. Now, I am not blaming her, but marriages just don't work unless there is such a marvelous compatibility of personality, character and interest that will persist when the embers die down. Too rare and too many failed marriages.
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Vishwas
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Vishwas


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Number of posts : 95
Age : 40
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Registration date : 2007-05-12

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PostSubject: Re: Why marriage doesn't work   Why marriage doesn't work Icon_minitimeMon May 28, 2007 1:34 am

EarlofLeicester wrote:
It's supposed to.. You fall in love and pledge life together forever and then... years later it's miserable. An observation I have made in my marriage and that is shared by other guys I know is that the marriage gets rockier when the guy says no too often. Like when my now ex asked me when we were married do I want to hang out with her, her girlfriend and her friend's husband. Now, me and the friend's husband don't know each other and had nothing in common. So when that kind of situation came up a second time, i said no I wasn't interested. Those kind of situations, assertions of will, led to the downfall of my marriage. Now, I am not blaming her, but marriages just don't work unless there is such a marvelous compatibility of personality, character and interest that will persist when the embers die down. Too rare and too many failed marriages.


WOW, very neatly said, but Earl, why is it that the Guy has to be blamed all the time?? there can't be smoke without fire, can there?? I say ur ex-wife had a major blame in the failure of this marriage.

But I agree on the complatbility part, now if we don't have a compatability, we must work hard & even change to make that compatbility, but most females just blame that their husband was a bum & that caused the failure of the marriage. Seesh, can't it be her fault also??
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EarlofLeicester

EarlofLeicester


Male
Number of posts : 344
Age : 64
Localisation : Midgard
Registration date : 2007-05-27

Why marriage doesn't work Empty
PostSubject: Re: Why marriage doesn't work   Why marriage doesn't work Icon_minitimeMon May 28, 2007 7:30 am

Vishwas wrote:
WOW, very neatly said, but Earl, why is it that the Guy has to be blamed all the time?? there can't be smoke without fire, can there?? I say ur ex-wife had a major blame in the failure of this marriage.

But I agree on the complatbility part, now if we don't have a compatability, we must work hard & even change to make that compatbility, but most females just blame that their husband was a bum & that caused the failure of the marriage. Seesh, can't it be her fault also??

Well, there is also the arrogance, like in I can make this work. I got married in the Catholic Church at the requirement or my Catholic (then) fiancé and part of the preparation of a day of pre-Cana compatibility testing. The testing said that she and I were not compatible, which I dismissed arrogantly as silly, standardized testing, but remembering the questions and responses, it seems like the testing idea is a good one. But I suspect that many will be like that 23 y.o. who will arrogantly believe it (i.e. divorce, bad marriage) can't happen to him.
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Vishwas
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Vishwas


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Number of posts : 95
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PostSubject: Re: Why marriage doesn't work   Why marriage doesn't work Icon_minitimeMon May 28, 2007 12:51 pm

There is no "I" in a marriage, if both the ppl say "WE will Work this out" well it is possible then.
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EarlofLeicester

EarlofLeicester


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Number of posts : 344
Age : 64
Localisation : Midgard
Registration date : 2007-05-27

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PostSubject: Re: Why marriage doesn't work   Why marriage doesn't work Icon_minitimeMon May 28, 2007 2:35 pm

Good point, Vish!
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